What do people normally talk about

In another study from Dunn and Sandstrom , a group of students were asked to carry around counters and keep count all social interactions over the course of their day. Having more social interactions led the students to report greater levels of happiness and wellbeing. Sandstrom adds that people who are more introverted tend to be more worried about how conversations will go ahead of time compared with extroverts.

But those differences go away when people report the benefits they get out of a conversation according to what she and colleagues found in the aforementioned "Psychological Science" paper published last year. That research also looked at other personality differences besides introversion. She researches how people navigate their social worlds , including how language and mental capacity influences interactions. Ask questions. Research actually suggests that people who ask more questions are better liked by their conversation partners than people who ask fewer questions.

A question can either kick off a conversation or keep it going, Sandstrom says. Skip the stock questions what do you do, where do you live, etc. It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains. Focusing the attention on the other person in those moments can help us get past those awkward spots, she says. You get better at asking better questions, and answering with more interesting responses. Research shows the opposite, however, that people nearly always are willing to engage in a conversation when prompted by someone else.

Our fear assumptions fail to take into account the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says. Want more tips like these? Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook , Twitter and Instagram. Avoid bad-mouthing others. Save your sensitive jokes for your best friends or better yet, replace them with jokes that don't have time and place restrictions. In particular, making sexist or racist jokes is offensive and a quick way to end a conversation with strangers.

Sometimes people do make jokes that they don't realize are sensitive or offensive. It can be helpful to consider some of the signs that a joke may be offensive before you tell it.

If the joke pokes fun at someone due to their race, culture, sex, or sexual orientation, skip it. You should also avoid jokes that touch on hot-button, controversial, or political issues. If your joke is at the expense of someone else, including the person you're telling it to, it's best to avoid it. Avoid talking at length about topics that are one-sided. This might include specialized expertise in a particular field or uncommon hobbies of which your conversation partner has no knowledge.

This doesn't mean you don't have to avoid mentioning those topics entirely. If someone asks you what your hobbies are, mentioning some uncommon ones can be an interesting jumping-off point for some conversations. The key is to keep the discussion more general and skip getting into long-winded speeches about highly specialized things you are passionate about unless the other person shares those same passions. Avoid talking about past relationships on a first date or other small talk conversations.

When making new romantic connections, making comparisons or talking endlessly about a past love is a turnoff and a quick way to ensure you don't get a second date.

Talking about past relationships tends to focus on negative topics, which is generally something you should try to avoid when making small talk. Your conversation partner may be hesitant to talk if it seems like you might talk negatively about them in the future as well.

Health issues tend to make poor choices for small talk. While you might be tempted to share the latest health kick you're trying, the person you are sharing it with may feel less interested. Some things you should avoid include:. Avoid discussing potentially sensitive health issues, whether they are your own or somebody else's. Asking others about their health can come off as intrusive, so it's best to avoid it.

There are a number of things you can do to help make small talk easier, whether you are meeting new people or dealing with social anxiety at a party. Doing things like asking open-ended questions and engaging in active listening can help you have great conversations with new people.

Try to stay positive and discuss optimistic topics. Avoid complaining, airing grievances, or discussing pessimistic topics. If you do bring up something that isn't generating interest or if you find yourself in an awkward conversation , change the subject and move on to something else. Remember, making small talk gets easier with practice. Consider starting conversations and rehearse some topics that you might want to use and you will find it easier to talk to strangers—without feeling stressed.

Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Brown ML. Learning the art of small talk. American Library Association. Updated University of Illinois Graduate College. Tips for networking events. Updated June Kangan Institute. Updated April 11, Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellMind. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page.

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I Accept Show Purposes. Best: Weather. Best: Arts and Entertainment. Best: Sports. Best: Family. Best: Food.

Best: Work. Best: Travel. Best: Celebrity Gossip. Joining a Conversation If you are trying to break into a group conversation, always establish eye contact, smile, and introduce yourself first. Best: Hobbies. Best: Hometown. How to Remember Names How can you remember people's names? Worst: Finances.

Worst: Politics and Religion. Your mind goes blank. What do you say? What do you talk about? Umm, ahh … that, uh, Joe Biden … huh? The conversation expert shared with us a few tips to help you figure out how to force some words out of your mouth in these sorts of situations, as well as some things you should avoid. Read your local paper. Have them send it to your watch.

Things outside of what might be your own areas of interest.